Pattern recognition
Something I've noticed about my creative life, and what's getting me through the first month of the year.
I wasn’t sure it was a pattern until now.
For the past three years, I’ve experienced a creative wintering season from October to December, a time when I tend to feel less focused, more drawn to rest, and rather unmotivated to make progress, even on projects that are important to me.
The first time, I was a bit disoriented. When you stop writing for a bit, or you’re trying to write and it feels harder than usual, it’s easy to forget the liminal space is normal and necessary. After a few months I found myself entering the new year with a rush of energy. If memory serves, I even launched a fresh season of the podcast sometime in mid-January. It felt right! Though secretly, part of me wanted to dismiss the impulse because, well, it was winter. The trees were bare. Wasn’t I supposed to be fallow too? Doing nothing?
Recently, I realized what was actually happening. My son has a school break in October that naturally disrupts my writing schedule, and we’re often going on a trip and generally out of our routine. This is very predictable, yet once school is back in session, it feels more challenging to regain my momentum in part because we’re rapidly entering the holiday season when the sun sets early and I prefer to snuggle on the couch and watch Christmas movies.
Beginning to pull together this newsletter during the first week of January, I could feel it: ideas sprouting, turning over in my mind, loose ends finally revealing themselves to tie up.
Actual energy to write.
(It also helped that I spent one night in a hotel and was able to gather some thoughts, sit in complete silence, and feel like a writer again.)
On Sunday, during my evening ritual of looking forward to the week ahead using my trusty Monk Manual (review here), I used a blank page to write down all the essays I want to write. There are at least five, all on somewhat heavy subjects.
The podcast is percolating and I’m dutifully jotting down ideas for later.
The memoir I’ve been telling you about for ages is… moving along! I’m so close I can taste it.
This season, let’s look for patterns.
Where are your liminal spaces during the year? When do you find yourself with the most creative energy? When do you find yourself wondering if you’re actually still a writer? Reflect on how the seasons unfold for you, in your body, in this particular time.
A creative winter doesn’t always fall in lockstep with the coldest and darkest days. It might. But it also might not.
It doesn’t matter so much when you winter, only that you do.
Odds & Ends
I’m in the middle of several books right now, mostly having to do with Italy in one way or another. I’m going in the spring! If you’ve been, please share your favorite places to eat. Specifically, I’m making lists for Rome, Florence, and Lake Como.
For the worriers among us (hiiiii!), Martha Beck has a new book out with a theory relating to creativity being the antidote to anxiety, and this podcast episode has the highlights.
There’s a bit less time to spread out on the couch and watch tv now that I’m back to work (and my son is still out of school) but I love having The Great Pottery Show Down on while I’m cooking. It’s so calming.
I think I cried during every single episode of Queer Eye’s newest season in Las Vegas. New member Jeremiah Brent is a puddle of tears during most reveals and I’m here for it.
We’ve all seen Wicked now, right? I’ve watched it three times. Once in the theater, once with my family at home, eating spaghetti and meatballs, and once with the director commentary. Speaking of Wicked, I was given this deck of cards for Christmas and playing solitaire is my new favorite activity when I need a computer break.
These gluten-free chocolate chip cookies (gifted link) are near-perfection. They bake up bakery-style—eat one warm and gooey from the oven, then freeze the rest for later.
I’m still thinking through how I want to engage with the news for the foreseeable future. So far I’ve experimented with deleting the New York Times app from my phone, and it’s a good start. In the past, when I’d scroll through op-ed’s discussing things that *might* happen, all the speculation and potential disasters would easily send me into an anxiety spiral. I want to be informed when it matters, but not be caught up in catastrophic thinking, so I’ve asked my husband to let me know any news he thinks I should be aware of. I’ve already noticed a difference in how I feel.
Finally, a trio of Wild Words podcast episodes that are extra supportive this time of year.
Until next time,
Nicole
P.S. This month I’ve been consumed watching my home state of California—and the city where I lived for a decade—burn and burn and burn. If you’re at a loss for how to help, organizations like Baby2Baby or World Central Kitchen are on the ground and helping ensure basic needs are met.
Great Pottery Show Down is the best! They filmed a 6th season that aired in the UK last year. I keep checking for when it will finally be added to Max 🤞
Head across the river in Florence to the Oltrarno neighborhood, it will be (slightly) less touristy and you'll be able to find some really great restaurants. The area near the Duomo can be hit or miss for food, but Cafe Paszkowski is one of those old classic restaurants that is worth a stop if you need a break from churches and art.
In Rome, Giolitti (near the Pantheon) is hands-down the best gelato you'll ever taste. Try all the flavors! (though I'm partial to a lemon-mint combo :) )