Everything about this resonates, especially the part about starting an online business. I've been turning this over and composting so much of the same things over the past few years, also looking for the humanity.
And this line: "Sometimes you have to go into your writing cave and stay inside until the words are ready to see the light." Yes.
I was just talking to my husband about this very thing just a few days ago! I was talking about the future of my blog that I started 7+ years ago and what it would look like if it were just a blog again, somewhere I shared random creative things. I remembered how years ago I read in some book that your blog needed to be focused on "one thing" and so I deleted all the posts that weren't profiles and just focused on profiles. I LOVE writing profiles and it is primarily what I like to do...but I realized I'd let one piece of "advice" change the thing I was doing for personal expression. I wasn't trying to turn that blog into a full-time job, but felt somehow like I "should" listen to all of that advice. It has taken so much deliberate effort to remind myself of my own personal goals and not let advice meant for another goal make me feel like I'm not doing enough. You expressed this perfectly and I can't wait to see where this new direction takes you. I'll be here reading whatever you have to offer, because your words and your seasonal approach are a gift.
All the advice can be so confusing, and makes it difficult to tune in to what we actually *want* to be doing. And like you said, it always seems like we're not doing enough.
Nov 1, 2023·edited Nov 1, 2023Liked by Nicole Gulotta
Nicole, I deeply appreciate your perspective and willingness to share how the current paradigm does not work for you, how you are forging a new way forward. I feel similar in many ways and this helps me to feel that I’m not alone while my writing journey snails its way through the other parts of my messy life. I recently committed to completing something- anything- that I’ve started writing. I want to eventually publish, but a part of me is resistant to getting to that finish line because the thought of all the social platform presence and marketing that is told writers should be doing puts my nervous system in a freeze just thinking about it. Thank you for sharing your very real experience and offering a new way.
The resistance to finishing totally makes sense! Publishing can feel so complicated, and there's never a full consensus on what's required of authors and what success even looks like. Since no one really knows what sells books, in a weird way it offers some permission to just do what feels good to us when it come to marketing. But don't let getting ahead of yourself with promotion prevent you from bringing the work to life! (You might enjoy my recent podcast episode with Tiffany Clarke Harrison where we talk about publication and the nervous system. Now's the time to start preparing so when that season does come, you'll be able to meet it with joy and presence.)
I really needed to hear all of this today. I applaud your honesty and vulnerability. Thanks so much for just being you and living life according to your own rules. I’m grateful!
"What if..." is a wonderful prompt for life. It elevates the conversation from - where I am - to - where I want to be. I lost my husband recently and amid missing him, honoring his life, and facing the rest of mine without him - "what it..." opens my heart and mind to what lies ahead. Thank you, Nicole, for a thoughtful and thought provoking essay. xo
I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband. What a tremendous loss. I'm honored that this simple question has opened your heart just slightly to new possibilities.
I always appreciate hearing/reading the thoughtful things you have to say about your creative journey. Thanks for opening and sharing this latest chapter with us, and for providing a reminder about humanity and how it doesn't help - in the long run - to put unrealistic expectations on our productivity/'success'. I hope this is a rewarding space for you and look forward to following your next steps!
It can be difficult to unravel everything we've been conditioned to believe, but it's already been rewarding to make the shift. Thanks so much for reading!
Everything about this resonates, especially the part about starting an online business. I've been turning this over and composting so much of the same things over the past few years, also looking for the humanity.
And this line: "Sometimes you have to go into your writing cave and stay inside until the words are ready to see the light." Yes.
Thanks for writing and sharing this. I relate to so much of it. And very much here for inconsistency being the new consistency.
Thanks for reading, and yes to embracing inconsistency!
Yes to everything above!
I was just talking to my husband about this very thing just a few days ago! I was talking about the future of my blog that I started 7+ years ago and what it would look like if it were just a blog again, somewhere I shared random creative things. I remembered how years ago I read in some book that your blog needed to be focused on "one thing" and so I deleted all the posts that weren't profiles and just focused on profiles. I LOVE writing profiles and it is primarily what I like to do...but I realized I'd let one piece of "advice" change the thing I was doing for personal expression. I wasn't trying to turn that blog into a full-time job, but felt somehow like I "should" listen to all of that advice. It has taken so much deliberate effort to remind myself of my own personal goals and not let advice meant for another goal make me feel like I'm not doing enough. You expressed this perfectly and I can't wait to see where this new direction takes you. I'll be here reading whatever you have to offer, because your words and your seasonal approach are a gift.
All the advice can be so confusing, and makes it difficult to tune in to what we actually *want* to be doing. And like you said, it always seems like we're not doing enough.
Really enjoyed learning more about your journey, Nicole!
Thank you, Amelia! I've loved having your podcast as a resource this past year. :)
Nicole, I deeply appreciate your perspective and willingness to share how the current paradigm does not work for you, how you are forging a new way forward. I feel similar in many ways and this helps me to feel that I’m not alone while my writing journey snails its way through the other parts of my messy life. I recently committed to completing something- anything- that I’ve started writing. I want to eventually publish, but a part of me is resistant to getting to that finish line because the thought of all the social platform presence and marketing that is told writers should be doing puts my nervous system in a freeze just thinking about it. Thank you for sharing your very real experience and offering a new way.
The resistance to finishing totally makes sense! Publishing can feel so complicated, and there's never a full consensus on what's required of authors and what success even looks like. Since no one really knows what sells books, in a weird way it offers some permission to just do what feels good to us when it come to marketing. But don't let getting ahead of yourself with promotion prevent you from bringing the work to life! (You might enjoy my recent podcast episode with Tiffany Clarke Harrison where we talk about publication and the nervous system. Now's the time to start preparing so when that season does come, you'll be able to meet it with joy and presence.)
Ooo, thank you for the podcast recommendation! I’ll definitely tune into that one.
I really needed to hear all of this today. I applaud your honesty and vulnerability. Thanks so much for just being you and living life according to your own rules. I’m grateful!
Thanks so much for reading, Ashlea!
And I’m here for it!
Your words are very much appreciated, Nicole!
"What if..." is a wonderful prompt for life. It elevates the conversation from - where I am - to - where I want to be. I lost my husband recently and amid missing him, honoring his life, and facing the rest of mine without him - "what it..." opens my heart and mind to what lies ahead. Thank you, Nicole, for a thoughtful and thought provoking essay. xo
I'm so very sorry to hear about your husband. What a tremendous loss. I'm honored that this simple question has opened your heart just slightly to new possibilities.
I always appreciate hearing/reading the thoughtful things you have to say about your creative journey. Thanks for opening and sharing this latest chapter with us, and for providing a reminder about humanity and how it doesn't help - in the long run - to put unrealistic expectations on our productivity/'success'. I hope this is a rewarding space for you and look forward to following your next steps!
It can be difficult to unravel everything we've been conditioned to believe, but it's already been rewarding to make the shift. Thanks so much for reading!
love this. I remember the early days, hate hustle culture and am all for being *human,* too -- rooting for you.
Thank you, Shanna!